Tears at breakfast


Pic by Mr 6 which has little to do with the post but much to do with the child and his awesomeness

There were tears at the breakfast table this morning. At the outset let me say there are often tears at the breakfast table at ours. I was, I think, wholly unprepared for the sheer number of tears my children would shed and over so many different issues before becoming a parent. But toddlers and preschoolers cry a lot it turns out. Even my highly verbal ones.

But I digress. This morning’s tears were the sad type. The type of crying we adults do in varying degrees depending on our propensity to leak from the eyes. I leak from the eyes regularly by the way. But I digress. Again.

Mr 3 had sought out one of his favourite presents, a torch and it wasn’t working. He cried. Nothing new there. I cuddled him and said it was most likely the batteries and we would seek out a new set and do that as soon as we were finished with breakfast. Of course he wanted it done immediately but before I could say anything further Mr 6 burst in to sobs. Loud sobs at that because the drama king is strong in him. I handed Mr 3 over to Mr and scooped up Mr 6 in my arms. As Mr 6 was crying so much it set his brother off in to deeper tears. Because though they constantly battle over whose way will prevail they genuinely care for one another it seems.

I hugged him and stroked my beautiful big boy’s hair. He calmed enough to tell me, through sobs, that the torch not working was his fault. It turns out he had dropped it and had heard a, “really quite crazy tinkly smash sound” (I told you highly verbal right?)….”and because dad had asked me to put the torch down but I ignored him and it broke” he hadn’t wanted to admit it to us. Because really, who hasn’t been there? Not wanting to admit you’ve done a wrong to avoid trouble is something we have all done.

And the next thing he said, “I am really, terribly sorry I did it in the first place and I am especially sorry because look how upset my brother is now.”

There are moments in parenting that feel like a test. This was one. And instead of getting angry with him, as I might have done had he admitted it at the time, I spoke to him instead of how important it is that he tell me things, even if he feels they’re wrong or he will get in trouble. Because he is six after all. I had let him accept his wrongdoing and reassured him I would love him anyway. His internal compass is what I want him to be able to listen to after all.

Parenting test 1034 navigated, I wonder what 1035 will have in store?

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