Quietly, really, me

ImageMy lovely friend Amelia took this photo of me almost a year ago now. I don’t normally post photos of myself here. I much prefer to be behind the camera which is part of the reason we have decided to semi-regularly document our family life with Amelia. This is really, quietly, me.

This week I had a pretty big set back.  I no longer have paid work.  It’s hit me to the core – I’ve felt sick in the stomach all week – as it’s work I foresaw myself doing for a long time to come. I have worked hard at it, I’ve put myself in to learning how to teach and I have really enjoyed it.  Additionally, it has been the perfect fit for our family life.  I had decided this was what I wanted.  It may work out in the future but for now, it’s not possible.

I’ve had setbacks of all types before – a broken heart, disappointments, real grief – my life’s been a windy road. I find myself having to adjust my expectations, look for new work, juggle things financially.  And so I open myself up to possibility….change…and hardest of all, trust. In my 30s I’ve really learned to trust that all will work out in the end. I still have to trust that. I was reminded of this – a focus on trust by another Amelia who has been blessed with incredible amounts of insight and wisdom.

In the meantime, I shall focus on my boys, look for signs of my new direction and remind myself to trust the outcome.  I’m still, quietly, really me after all.

9 thoughts on “Quietly, really, me

  1. Natalie

    My beautiful friend, you have been constantly in my thoughts this week. There are times when that trust is easier said than done, but I truly believe that things will work out for you. I also believe that when we are open to signs of a new direction, the universe will gift us that needed inspiration. It’s just a matter of when. In the meantime, enjoy the time with your beautiful boys and know that if you ever need to talk, I’m still, quietly, really here for you whenever you need it. xxxxx

  2. Megan Blandford

    Love that photo, the happiness in your eyes makes me smile and want to be at that table with you.

    Setbacks like this are the pits. Deep down you know it will all work out, but in the meantime it’s hard to trust and let things fall as they need to. Always here for a chat. X

  3. Cat from Raspberry Rainbow

    What a gorgeous photo!

    I am so sorry about your job. I hope this change will offer up some amazing new opportunities for you, you never know what the Universe will reveal. Often it gives us things we did not even know we needed.

    Big hugs xox


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