As a small girl I never dreamed of something specific like getting married, having a baby or being a Dr. I think I have always had a feel for the way I wanted to “feel” when I grew older. Settled, happy with my choices, loved. That is what I envisaged. And really, those are things I have, lucky me.
As I grew into my 20s I knew one day I would want to be a Mama. And as I frovolised (new word there see?) my way through my 20s and in to my 30s that time of Mama-ness came closer. As an aside, I highly recommend frivolising your 20s away, within reason!
When I was pregnant with Bebito I thought ahead to the type of Mama I wanted to be. The baby phase and I are not the best of friends, in spite of having had two of them. Instead, I come in to my own when they hit their first birthday and beyond. My boys as babies taught me a lot! But as they became toddlers is when the real fun began for us. I’ve developed my way of parenting them based on who they are, who I am and the many mistakes I’ve made along the way.
My Bebito has now been at school for almost two weeks. He was completely ready for a new challenge and has done incredibly well in spite of being anxious about starting this new chapter. I think 5 days a week is so very much though and secretly wish he could just attend for 4 days so we could have more time together. It’s a new chapter for us all and we are finding being organised is the easiest way to get through with smiles.
This time in his life is something I did look ahead to and I have made deliberate choices in my life to be the Mama I want to be at this time for him and for Little Lion. As Little Lion and I stood baking biscuits this morning I was struck by what we were doing. We were making biscuits for an after school snack and that very thing is an analogy for what I want to be for my boys, “a milk and cookies Mama”. Someone who takes care of them in quiet ways, nourishes their souls and allows them to open up and be who they are. Milk and cookies indeed.