The “occasion” Scrooge

20130507-081457.jpg

At the outset, let me say I adore my Mum. She is wise, beautiful and strong in the same way as a willow tree is. She has made me both literally and figuratively.

I have a problem though with the “big occasions” and as we are inundated with marketing materials around Mother’s Day I’m particularly stricken at the moment. Megan and I have talked much about this in the past. Valentine’s Day, Mother’s and Father’s Day …. I am an “occasion” Scrooge! I make an exception for birthdays as they are really about the person whom you’re celebrating with … And my problem is this …. If it takes a “day” to remind you to be nice to someone well, don’t bother! Additionally, there are lots of people who have lost their loved one – either through them not being the kind of person they should have been or that they aren’t here in the corporeal sense. People struggling with fertility or the heartbreak of having lost a baby. How painful these days must be for them. Also, the pressure on this one day … To have the picture perfect celebration is just too much! It just leaves room for disappointment.

More though, the role of Mum’s is undervalued and I think in modern times this extends to the role of “parents” not just Mum’s as Dad’s have taken a much more hands on approach in recent years than has been the case historically.  In my circles I know how central parenting is to many people’s lives but I’m hyper aware that “my” circles are more about the people I choose to surround myself with.  Sure, there are high profile debates about feeding in public, children running “wild” in cafes or food courts (don’t get me started) but the day-to-day parenting of being woken ridiculously early, loving, nurturing and playing, answering a million questions, coaxing food down toddlers throats, keeping little fingers out of powerpoints and drawers and oh man, the worry – that’s not something we see portrayed in the media or even in movies or television.  And why?  I think really it’s because on the whole, it’s not that interesting to watch or talk about.

I’m all for appreciation, gratitude, showing affection and of course love but maybe, just maybe that should be part of every day life? Save the spontaneity for when it’s least expected though.  And I would really love to see the role of parents being embraced more readily so that parents feel appreciated for trying to raise good children who become good people!

Oh, I am going to counter all this by saying I am SUPER looking forward to whatever amazing Mother’s Day creation Bebito brings home from kindergarten for me! Oh and I never need too much coaxing to make or eat cake so I’m looking forward to making the caramel apple upside down cake pictured above!

How about you? Are you an occasion Scrooge like me?

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “The “occasion” Scrooge

  1. Bianca Wordley (@bigwordsblog)

    I adore you, yet disagree on this. I think I am the polar opposite – like yin and yang. We fit together perfectly though! It’s not about the “stuff” it’s about the sentiment. Life can get so groundhog at times, it can also be cruel and dark and difficult. The celebration of love and kindness, although seen by many as manufactured, can be so positive. The kids get so excited, there’s extra cuddles, extra laughter and for a few days a year there’s an extra buzz in the air. I love it all. As I also love you. Enjoy the cake xx

    Reply
    1. catbeloverly Post author

      I totally understand Bianca. I was hoping for some disagreement too! 😉 I think this is the first year Bebito will truly get the concept, especially as they have been talking about it at kindy. I do love an excited child. 🙂 Plus, I know the groundhog thing well!! Xxx ps. I love you too x

      Reply
  2. Rachel

    Certainly understand your points and agree with everything!

    I take it as an opportunity to spend time with my mum (and reluctantly, my MIL!) and for my kids to spend time with their grandmothers, especially since one grandmother doesn’t make much effort to see them very often. Sometimes it also a good opportunity for me to see my brothers and again, for my kids to see their aunts/uncles, but in saying that, one brother doesn’t see it this way and often visits mum/invites her around/takes her out without seeing it as an occasion to also see the rest of his family!

    I still struggle to think of Mother’s Day as a day for me though. It is all about doing something for my mum and MIL. I’m a tad resentful, I must admit. Part of me wants to spend at least half the day alone but hubby doesn’t get that. On a positive note my kids are growing up and getting excited to spoil Mummy, in however form that may be!

    Reply
    1. catbeloverly Post author

      I agree Rachel, I don’t see it as about me yet either. 🙂 we spend time with Mum most weekends so this weekend we will just do that with cake. 🙂

      Reply
  3. bubsweatandtears

    See, Cat, I can see where you’re coming from as the over commercialised bizzo gets my goat up too, but I don’t think there’s harm in throwing attention in the direction of someone who deserves it. The simple marking if it makes it even more special. Maybe I’m contradictory as I never celebrate Valentines day but the face that once a year my introverted husband feels compelled to mention all the things I do right as a Mum, means the world to me.

    Reply
  4. Amy {The Misadventurous Maker]

    I’m with Bianca on this one! Can’t stand the commercialism or materialism but LOVE the sentiment! My husband however doesn’t!!! He’s a total occasion scrooge! But at least my eldest is at kinder now and his teachers organised the most GORGEOUS mothers day afternoon with the kids this week. The kids were so proud of themselves for baking, decorating table clothes, drawing pictures of us, making a painting with their handprints on fabric and singing and dancing to a special song. No perfume or pair of slippers could compete with that! The kids were so adorable and so excited to have all of these special surprises for their mummies and just to even have us all together on their turf for the afternoon. I LOVE a sense of occasion and hope my kids embrace it like me rather than hide from it like my husband!!! Whatever the occasion, it’s just a bit of extra fun. But don’t get me started on the commercial/advertising side!

    I do understand what puts you off these sorts of days. But I know what an amazing mum you are, and if anyone needs to be showered with extra love and appreciation it’s you!!!! I hope your boys cuddle you extra hard in the next week on Mother’s Day AND on your birthday! For all that you do for them and because of what an amazing person you are for them in their lives.xoxoxoxo

    Reply
  5. Octavia and Vicky

    I see your point. …but do admit that a part of ke would love an extra special treat on mothers day. I’m talking kid made breakfast (even if that’s burnt toast and cold tea) and a small gift made or picked out by my smalls. At the extreme end I might occasionally fantasise about fancy lunches and spa pampering packages 😛 but my husband is not one for bothering with extra special arrangements for any occasion. Birthdays or hallmark days. He doesn’t want a fuss made on him and doesn’t make a fuss over others. This mothers day I am doing the mother’s day classic with my lovely MIL, SIL and our children then coming home to recover with a day at home with the kids 🙂 what are your plans?

    Reply
    1. catbeloverly Post author

      Burnt toast made by our kids does sound rather fun Kylie! Your run does sound very fun! We don’t have any plans as yet beyond visiting my Mum & Grandma. X

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s