At the outset, let me say I adore my Mum. She is wise, beautiful and strong in the same way as a willow tree is. She has made me both literally and figuratively.
I have a problem though with the “big occasions” and as we are inundated with marketing materials around Mother’s Day I’m particularly stricken at the moment. Megan and I have talked much about this in the past. Valentine’s Day, Mother’s and Father’s Day …. I am an “occasion” Scrooge! I make an exception for birthdays as they are really about the person whom you’re celebrating with … And my problem is this …. If it takes a “day” to remind you to be nice to someone well, don’t bother! Additionally, there are lots of people who have lost their loved one – either through them not being the kind of person they should have been or that they aren’t here in the corporeal sense. People struggling with fertility or the heartbreak of having lost a baby. How painful these days must be for them. Also, the pressure on this one day … To have the picture perfect celebration is just too much! It just leaves room for disappointment.
More though, the role of Mum’s is undervalued and I think in modern times this extends to the role of “parents” not just Mum’s as Dad’s have taken a much more hands on approach in recent years than has been the case historically. In my circles I know how central parenting is to many people’s lives but I’m hyper aware that “my” circles are more about the people I choose to surround myself with. Sure, there are high profile debates about feeding in public, children running “wild” in cafes or food courts (don’t get me started) but the day-to-day parenting of being woken ridiculously early, loving, nurturing and playing, answering a million questions, coaxing food down toddlers throats, keeping little fingers out of powerpoints and drawers and oh man, the worry – that’s not something we see portrayed in the media or even in movies or television. And why? I think really it’s because on the whole, it’s not that interesting to watch or talk about.
I’m all for appreciation, gratitude, showing affection and of course love but maybe, just maybe that should be part of every day life? Save the spontaneity for when it’s least expected though. And I would really love to see the role of parents being embraced more readily so that parents feel appreciated for trying to raise good children who become good people!
Oh, I am going to counter all this by saying I am SUPER looking forward to whatever amazing Mother’s Day creation Bebito brings home from kindergarten for me! Oh and I never need too much coaxing to make or eat cake so I’m looking forward to making the caramel apple upside down cake pictured above!
How about you? Are you an occasion Scrooge like me?