Things I’m learning: saying no

My three hobbies – reading, cooking and embroidery are for me, a form of meditation. Not that I shouldn’t learn to meditate properly mind you (and I must!). Depending on my frame of mind they either still or focus my mind and occasionally, in the midst of something, I get enormous clarity. It’s why “finding” time to do these things is so important to me.

One such moment of clarity came recently. I’m finding the balancing act of work/family/the rest very tricky at the moment. I’m not alone in this that’s for sure. I need to be more ruthless at what I say yes to which his hard for a people pleaser like me. And to be honest, I’ve been much better since having children at saying no to the things I don’t want to do. Mostly, when I say yes it’s because I want to. Fitting it all “in” to my life is another matter but I’ve been better. Mainly because instead of using the word, “no” I decided on softer words like, “not today” or, “I’m not sure I can.”

No, the person I really learn to say, “No” to is well, me. It’s my expectations, my inner dialogue that needs to be managed, shushed and put into perspective. I suspect that is a harder battle to win.

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2 thoughts on “Things I’m learning: saying no

  1. Jane Soutar

    It’s true that saying no to yourself can be toughest. We are always hardest on ourselves.
    PS. It’s been shown that crochet and knitting produce the same brain waves as in actual meditation, so there’s no reason to feel you have to also meditate “properly” as I’m sure your embroidery would work in a similar fashion to knitting and crochet and therefore have the same physiological effect.

    Reply

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